“You’re so resilient” Isn’t the Compliment We Thought it Was. Why it’s Time to Rethink This Important Trait
Dr. Suniya Luthar, founder and executive director of the AC Groups, a non-profit working to foster resilience in communities, says it’s impossible to expect people to rebound constantly. “Humanity has been traumatized not once but repeatedly and there isn’t a clear end in sight,” she says. The last few years exacerbated a growing mental health crisis, which only confirms how impossible it is to bounce back all the time.
Jennifer Moss, author of The Burnout Epidemic: The Rise of Chronic Stress and How We Can Fix It, explains that processing of all of these challenges tap the brain’s “surge capacity,” similar to an influx of patients in an emergency room in which, at some point, resources run out. We can’t simply muster resilience from a state of total depletion.
Resilience is a trait that is often celebrated and desired, but our understanding of it may be flawed. The pandemic has challenged our concept of resilience, as it has become clear that the mind cannot constantly bounce back from trauma and uncertainty. It is impossible to expect people to rebound constantly when they have been repeatedly traumatized. Resilience should not be seen as something you either have or don't have, but rather as something that can be developed through consistent practices. Similar to building muscle at the gym, engaging in small practices can help build resilience and introduce calm into your life and community.
Resilience is not just about being positive. It is important to acknowledge and understand your emotions, rather than simply trying to be strong and optimistic. Crying and showing vulnerability does not denote weakness, but rather signals that it may be time to make a change or seek support. Resilience also does not come solely from within. It is important to prioritize relationships and community support. Normalizing conversations about mental health, stress, and burnout can help build resilience within a community. Additionally, participating in activities that bring hope and excitement, such as volunteering or social events, can make it easier to deal with hardships. Taking care of one another and pursuing resilience together may be the best approach during times of struggle.
In summary, resilience is not about constantly bouncing back, but rather about developing practices and seeking support to navigate challenges. It is not just about being positive, but also about understanding and processing emotions. Resilience is not an individual endeavor, but rather a collective effort that involves building relationships and supporting one another. Read the complete article at the link below.